If your parent recently began showing signs of dementia, you probably already know that you’re stepping into one of life’s hardest seasons. We’ve walked with many families through this, and we want you to know: what you’re experiencing is normal.
There will be moments of clarity when your parent seems like themselves again… followed by confusion, anger, or withdrawal. These swings are emotionally exhausting and can create conflict among siblings or caregivers. Someone always ends up upset or feeling accused.
You are not alone in this.
One of the most difficult realities we have to share is this: unfortunately, dementia doesn’t get easier. Those flashes of lucidity will become fewer and shorter over time.
Because of this, if your loved one hasn’t yet created a thorough estate plan or engaged in other end-of-life planning, it is incredibly important that you act now – while they can still make and communicate decisions.
Those Moments of Lucidity Are Vital
Under Texas law, estate planning requires legal capacity. The exact definition of “capacity” is contextual; for example, it differs between contracts and wills. For estate planning, “capacity” generally means that your parent must understand what they are doing, know the general nature and extent of their property, and recognize the natural heirs who would normally inherit in order to sign a will or create a trust.
Here’s the good news: even if your parent’s clarity comes and goes, those lucid moments can still be enough for them to legally create or update a trust, sign a power of attorney, or revise a will. An experienced Texas estate planning lawyer can help assess and document capacity during those windows to reduce the risk of challenges later.
What If Their Lucidity Is Gone Entirely?
If your parent no longer has moments of lucidity, it doesn’t mean planning stops… but your tools and planners will have to adapt to the situation. You, as their adult children or caregivers, can still establish a trust for your parent’s benefit using your own resources or assets that you legally control (for example, if you are already a joint owner on certain accounts).
You can also petition a court for a guardianship or conservatorship to gain the authority to manage their affairs and create or fund a trust on their behalf. While this process is more complex and may feel invasive, it’s a common and necessary step when dementia has advanced to the point where they’re no longer able to care for themselves.
Things to Remember and Expect
It’s Normal for Emotions to Run High
Family members often disagree about when to step in, what kind of care is best, or who should make financial decisions. This isn’t because anyone loves your parent less; it’s because dementia is heartbreaking and frightening.
A neutral, experienced estate planning attorney can be the steady hand that helps everyone stay focused on the legal steps needed, rather than on emotional blame.
There’s a Huge Benefit to Taking Action Early
Simply put, the earlier you act, the more choices your family has. If your parent can still participate, sit down with an estate planning lawyer now. Seriously, now. Reach out and set up an appointment as soon as possible.
And when you do come, try to bring all decision-makers to the table so everyone hears the same guidance and expectations. If lucidity is gone, discuss guardianship or conservatorship options and strategies to protect your parent’s assets and ensure they’re cared for.
Planning Doesn’t Have to Be Chaotic
Dementia will get harder, but with guidance and timely action, you can protect your parent’s dignity, finances, and future care, even as their capacity declines. This isn’t easy, but you don’t have to navigate it alone.